Astonishingly Awful's Profile

Uncanny X-men …here comes the final rant. Gail hyped this issue up on her Facebook page. Here is Gail in her own words. “ Just saying, if you have been away from UNCANNY X-MEN for a bit, today is the day to jump back on board. It's a new arc, and some important new characters are involved, and I can't say more but this is a good jumping back-on point and this story REALLY goes bananas.Gambi t needs an exorcist.And the one Rogue found might not be working on the side of the angels!Plus, NEXT issue, it's the first appearance of...well, that would be telling.The last time I did a message like this was the debut of the uber-popular MUTINA, so just saying, it's a GOOD JUMPING ON POINT.” What I read this week was such a jumbled mess full of unexplained nonsense I thought I missed 2-3 issues. Rogue brings the possessed Gambit to Gabriel the demon hunter who I recall from old 70s marvel comics. How he knows Rogue, no idea. Never explained. Calico all issue displays bizarre trauma. Which necessitates her teammates hugging her ? Apparently gambit used to do this ? Why is someone so insane on the X-men ? Last issue she was dancing with her lesbian lover. This issue …in the fetal position needing to be coddled. The person to do it is Someone she’s never met or been introduced too…. Also someone who is just here for reasons. Quicksilver. it doesn’t go as planned as she tries to kill him. Oh and the Gambit possession. Turns out it’s a fly demon. That’s the issue. Just stuff. The big reset for Gail. No explanations. Just bullshit. I’m done. Uncanny has been dropped. A collector since Giant size #1 which I bought at 8 years old in 1989 for $110. I saved for a full year doing chores. Back then I was so excited to see Wolverine and the team. Now I’m 44 and I despise the book. I’m gone. more

Gambit needs an exorcism. Calico needs therapy. I need a different book.

Seriously, I can’t take this constant entitled whining from the Outliers anymore. I actually liked these kids when they were introduced, but Rogue’s team is treating them like five year olds, not like future X-Men. These kids need to learn how to shut the fuck up and get the job done. All of them except Random are constantly crying about the most trivial things, and instead of the grown ups telling them to get a grip, even their most childish behavior is being validated. Calico in particular is portrayed as a person who has suffered constant abuse from her mother. Simone actually does a good job at showing her trauma in a consistent way - but if she is really that damaged, she doesn’t belong on a team like the X-Men.

This is another issue I have with Simone’s writing. Despite the fact that she is constantly talking about keeping the children safe, she also portrays their relationship to the grown X-Men in a very weird and inappropriate way. Gambit has been a little too close to these girls physically, considering he is not their biological father and these are teenage girls, not children. Maybe this was the artist’s choice, but you have to be really careful about these things, especially when one of your main themes is child abuse. In this issue Quicksilver is filling Gambit’s role, carrying Calico like a baby (a young woman who is not injured, just confused) and wanting to “tug her in”. Eew.

But enough of that. The other storyline - Gambit and Rogue asking this Gabriel character for an exorcism - makes even less sense. Did I miss something? Who is this Gabriel? It seems like the X-Men have met him before, but where? Who is this demon? Why is Rogue talking in this weird, stilted way? To be honest, at this point I don’t even care anymore. more

It's ironic that this book feels more like the X-Men than any of the "real" X-Men titles.

I don't know what to do with this issue. We are introduced to Verity Pennyworth. Apparently, Alfred, instead of having a unique relationship with, first, Thomas Wayne, and now Bruce is a secret member of a society that creates servants for heroes. Forget the fact that Alfred worked for the family before there ever was a Batman. But he now has a heretofore unknown niece.

And Bruce didn't know about her because he didn't read Alfred's will even though it was on his desk for nine years. Is Alfred an AI or ghost or a figment of Bruce's psyche? I still don't know.

And Fraction has visited a couple of the 27,000 plot threads he has going. This one is the Joker. After a couple of issues, he reminds us that the Joker is still in the bacta tank and plotting his evil plan. What the plan is, we don't know. But I am sure that's it's something totally original, like the laughing fish. And I can't wait to find out how he tricks the shrink, who for some reason is in charge of Damian. The trick will be original and not something like doc has Stockholm syndrome or she thought she was the one who could get through to a stone-cold maniac who enjoys inflicting pain because it's fun.

This is more of the same for Fraction. Lots of set up, but nothing actually happening. The Jim Gordon plot - nowhere, the guy with cop footage - nowhere, Poison Ivy as major - nowhere, Vandal Savage as police commissioner - nowhere.

This run has been going on for a year and it's still all setup.

The art was good, but I hate Verity's pointed shoes. Not the footwear a domestic service would wear. You need comfort and arch support.

Overall, not a great issue.

Or I could be wrong.

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Good issue, but the pacing seems off. I’m also not sure if I like this Verity character. Like all of Jimenez’s women, she has a stupid manga face.

Lullabi goes for excessive dynamism and action, but on half the pages I have no idea what is even happening.

Who better to write this spin on the original Kraven‘s Last Hunt storyline - my favorite Spider-Man story - than the original author, J.M. DeMatteis? He and artist Yildiray Cinar are doing a great job overall. Cinar channels the original art team of Mike Zeck and Bob McLeod so well, it actually looks like the original books and immediately takes you back to a time when Marvel comics were great. It works, but it’s so close to Zeck and McLeod that you have to wonder whether it’s still an homage or an outright swipe.
However, the real issue here is the very concept of the story - it’s a What If tale, and like all What If tales, it doesn’t really matter in the end.
What remains is a well done and quite entertaining book that has none of the stupid identity politics and modern sensibilities that Marvel is so eager to put in every title now. And that’s worth something.more

Just beautiful. Masterful art and thoughtful writing that pulls you right into a story that feels trivial and wondrous at the same time. I have only read a few Concrete issues a long time ago, but I’m gonna correct that mistake.

I quite enjoyed this standalone issue. I’ve never been a huge fan of the Juggernaut as an X-Man, but somehow McKay manages to tell an intriguing tale about identity and projection around Cain Marko by simply pitting him against an indestructible statue. This is almost genius, especially for an author I considered incapable of such a feat.
Greg Land, although not a favorite of mine, is the rig ht artist choice for this story, rendering everything in grounded realism.
The ending could have been stronger, but all in all, this is an excellent issue that says something about human nature in a time when everybody is tempted to get radicalized, regardless of where they stand in the culture war.more

Better than the first issue, but the character of Godshredder doesn’t make much sense to me. Also, there’s a lot of “tell not show” in the way Wolverine takes out the X-Men. Orlando and Segovia basically skip the most exciting part of the story, and I can’t help but imagine how Claremont and Silvestri would have executed this sequence. Silvestri would have given us fantastic action and coolness, s howcasing all the X-Men’s powers and capabilities.
Orlando is trying to emulate Claremont’s dialogue style, but it seems that all he remembers is that Claremont sometimes gave his characters a very stilted way of speaking.
The result is another forgettable issue - the only excitement I felt stems from my nostalgia for that era of the X-Men. But there’s another emotion - sadness. Sadness, because this book reminds me that the great days of American comics are over and probably not coming back.
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It's important to understand what this comic is aiming for: very specifically, early '90s X-Men. If you don't like that vibe, this book is not for you.

We get a decent introduction to the world and characters and there's one strong surprise/twist. The art is fantastic. 6/10 for the writing, 8/10 for the art.

Vibes aside, I hope Kirkman really dials in on what he's trying to say with this book other than just showing us cool characters and action. more

This feels like your typical, run-of-the-mill superhero comic. None of the characters grabbed me the way a first issue should. Nor did the story either. They talked and tried to put something behind it, but to me it felt flat. And that ending was certainly a... Choice, I guess. Pass on #2.

I was excited about Terminal. Since Marvel refuses to give us good X-Men stories, it was only a matter of time before other creators would try to fill the void and give readers what they want.

However, I’m not that positive that this book is going to do that, at least not for me. Kirkman himself says on the letters page, that his inspiration is early nineties X-Men, and that’s fine. It’ s just not the era I enjoyed that much. The X-books became very shallow around that time. Big poses, one world-shattering event after another, all the apocalyptic stuff - that wasn’t my X-Men anymore. And that’s probably the reason why Terminal #1 feels very cold and uninteresting to me.

The book itself is well made and looks pretty good, especially the action scenes. It‘s funny how much I can appreciate Andy Kubert, now that most art in comics is absolute rubbish.

The premise of Terminal is mysterious and engaging, but also feels contrived - like, let’s do X-Men, but change all the details, so it’s not too obvious. Unlike X-Men, Terminal seems to have some religious undertones, especially of the dualist kind, which is not my cup of tea at all. I’m sure many readers will enjoy this though.

Storywise, it all feels a little rushed. Marilyn is looking for her sister, her sister finds her instead, five seconds after we learned about it, which feels unearned and sloppy.

Then there‘s the carnage - I really don’t need it in a superhero book, but it makes one thing clear: the book will be unpredictable and heroes will die. This is good, however, it also feels cynical, another thing I don’t need. The title itself and the last page seem to hint at a Strikeforce: Morituri concept.

When it comes to the characters, none of them are interesting to me at this point. The team looks like one of those random early 90s Image teams, to be honest - all powers and costumes, no personality. And despite the fact that there‘s a family story at the center of this issue, there is none of the warmth the X-Men exuded.

All in all, Terminal #1 was an interesting and entertaining read, but I think it’s not for me. more

They really let this murder slide, didn’t they? After all, it’s only a dead villain.

If not for the incredibly anticlimactic ending, I would have given this book a relatively good rating. The art is mostly fine, even beautiful, and the writing felt surprisingly consistent despite the different writers. That ending though is a huge problem, and quite symptomatic for what makes the X-book s so bad in recent years.more

I‘ll start with the good stuff: Roge Antonio‘s art is pretty good, and it looks like there‘s another solid guest artist, Jim Towe, for two pages or so. Unfortunately, the last four pages are drawn by the same artist that already ruined the last Storm series. But that isn’t even the worst part of the issue.
I really can’t wrap my head around Gail Simone‘s writing. Either it‘s relatively good ( albeit a bit too much on the woke side) or completely abysmal, as is the case with this issue. I‘m willing to overlook all the cutesy cuddly Outlier safe space bullshit, but I can’t overlook the ridiculous way Mutina defeats the aliens. I don’t want to spoil the „surprise twist“, so let me just say one thing: the technology of the aliens is not capable of differentiating a real threat from an illusion? Interesting.more